The Important Things That Are Left Unsaid

This morning, I woked up to the beep of my kodi handset. There was an sms from my ex. For the hundreth time he said that he was sorry for what he had done. Point taken encik bebel. Of course, his sms left me distressed the whole day. I wanted to say many things to him but time and ego had prevented me to do so. Hence, after 6 hours of contemplating on writing this blog, I decided to write about what i have longed to say to some people; especially those who used to be part of my life.

To Encik High Order Thinking,

• Sebenarnye i just wanted to say that i called you a lot of times the night before kite break up. I takut nak gi te kotahinga around 6 o'clock alone as it was dark. It was still winter. You didnt pick up. I did not forget you entirely that night. Te kotahinga memang susah nak dapat line.IT WAS VODAFONE!!!!
  

• The part when you smsed me " aku doa kapal terbang ko terhempas." hurts the most. Tak yah doakan aku mati weh..
• I kecik hati you bawak other girl to be your partner during the cultural award night. I was the one who had to put up with your tantrums sepanjang you jadi president OMSA.
  

To Encik Ilmu Ghaib,

• You didnt have to be my boyfriend to ask me to help you with your English. If you were a friend, I would still have given my all to help you with the language.

To my used to be best friend,

• What you did, regardless intentionally or unintentionally, had left a huge scar in my heart. Mak aku kat hospital time tu, and i trusted you to help me. I know from your eyes that you are sorry, but I still need space and time to heal..

To encik nerd,

• I did not mean to hurt you dulu. The breakup was necessary. Your mom hated me. I just wanted to make it clear, I wasnt your friend because of your money. You were caring and that was all that mattered most.
  

To encik bebel,

• Maaf ko takde makne dah bagi aku. Mmg hidup aku f**kup because of you. Aku doakan ko bahagia sebenarnye, walaupon aku cakap je aku tak.haha..ko pon tau kan aku takla jahat mane. Aku hope kite takkan jumpe dah sampai bile bile. Tolong jangan peduli dah pasal aku. Thanks for doing me this enormous favour.

I know, I know. Probably you guys are not encik bebel or encik nerd. You guys can't relate to this. But I think this is neccessary. This will help to me to clear the burden in my heart that i have been carrying for so long. I hope those involved will read this. As for now, one mochachino is very much needed..chowz

Anak abah oo anak abah

Last weekend, i had to go back home. Mom was sick. Thank god, dad was in KL too with uncle T. I was a bit shy of course since uncle T is an old friend of dad. In my head i was imagining that he will say things like any other old friend of my dad would say, " Anak lu dah besar aaa. Ingat tak wa dulu ****" Yes,my dad still uses pronouns such as "lu" and "wa" until now. (Thus the rock kapakness in me is inherited from dad). Anyways, i just wanted to share with you guys what uncle T said to me when i arrived at nasi kandar pelita, in front of avenue K.
abah: "Ini gf baru gua" (referring to me)
uncle T: "Wa manyak tinggi oo." This is a mockery to dad :)
abah: "Lu gila ka, ini anak wa".
Nisya: still blank..nak salam ke tak my dad ni..
Uncle T: " Wa lu ikot macam mak lu.tinggi...lu blaja mane?"
Abah: " Wants to follow us. Wanted to go back naek bus"
Uncle T: OOOOOOOOOOOO..Lu gila ka mau naek bus? got mercedes u want to take bus what for? U have to pay me bus fare.. Double.."
NIsya: * speechless* Org tua ni btol ke nak soh aku blanje? Rugi lagi aku...

Uncle T really meant what he said. Nothing is for free including riding his car. I had to buy him a Dunhill. Still worth it I guess..

Then on Saturday morning i had another conversation with dad. We call this "breakfast with duet selit" sessions. In case you guys are wandering what duit selit is, my dad usually selit 10 ringgit after pasar for his ciggies. And then, when mom ask about the balance, dad being the perfect accountant, would always increase harga telur or bawang or the fish. As what dad says," Skill ni penting untuk kebahagiaan rumah tangga". There is a special way of actually folding duet selit, and me and my second brother have mastered this skill well. After ordering 2 teh tarik, abah started the conversation. I dreaded this topic but i was well prepared to answer. The conversation as far as i remembered was as follows:
Abah: Budak tu dah nak balik dah kan?
Nisya: Budak mane?
Abah: Ala yang pergi US tu.. (referring to my ex, ch**m.)
Nisya: Entah, Don't care la..
Abah: Sya ade boifren? Bile sya nak kawen ni?
Nisya: *Damn damn* (inner thoughts). Entah la bah, jodoh ade kawen, tade jodoh tak kawen.
Abah: Uhm..(His only daugher knows this tone so well)
Nisya: Abah risau eh Nisya takde boifren?
Abah: Uhm....
Nisya: Abah dulukan suruh sya doa for the best. The best of course la Allah saves for the last. No abah, sya tak putus ase lepas ch**m. Abah janganla risau..ok?
Abah: Bagusla doa..tapi skang kene doa kasi cepat sikit.. mama ko tu dah bising. (i know this is him talking and not mommy yang risau)
Nisya: OK. If i get one who has half of your attributes, im the luckiest girl in the whole entire world.
Abah: tak yah nak sweet talk. U learnt that from me..
Nisya: Cett ..(inner thoughts).
Abah: Sya bayar. Rokok skang dah naek harge.
Nisya: Yelah tu...(inner thoughts).

From this i know that my dad is worried about my future. So yes, got la to find one boyfriend now..for my dad's sake. of course..hehe..